I underdstand why people don't have 38 children (ha!)

Written on September 16th:

Every Friday and Saturday at Open Arms we have a movie night. We all bundle up into our PJs, bring our blankets, and snuggle into our cozy little TV room for a children’s movie. It is, without a doubt one of my favorite parts of the week. I always look forward to it, no matter what we’re watching, mostly because the kids will snuggle up in your lap and it’s just a peaceful time to simply enjoy their presence without the usual noise ;).

Last Friday’s movie night also brought an interesting revelation for me – we watched “Evan Almighty,” courtesy of Uncle Bobo and at one point God (Morgan Freeman) says to Evan’s wife: “When you pray for patience does God give you patience? Or does he give you opportunities to be patient?” And it really struck me how important it is for me to be aware of that notion – not only in terms of patience but with everything. Patience or love or forgiveness or anything worthwhile really isn’t just given to us…we have to work towards it. And the most that we can ask for is to be given the opportunity to become patient or loving or forgiving or whatever it is we’re looking to be.

I love Open Arms and I love the children here. I truly, truly do. There is no question about that ever, but that doesn’t mean that the children don’t ever drive me nuts. In fact, they often drive me nuts. But every day I’m learning that the appropriate answer to children banging on the Purple House door over and over and over again and shouting “Keaton! Keaton! KEAAATTTOONNN!!!” in increasing volumes when you’re just trying to escape for half an hour is to just smile and appreciate that they trust and love you enough to bother you all the time. Of course, this is not always my instant reaction…but I’m learning.

The past few weeks have certainly brought some trying moments and some wonderful moments…where to even begin?

I suppose my last entry ended just before Bob’s arrival. Now for those of you unfamiliar with Bob Solis, he is the founder of Open Arms and probably one of the most amazing people ever. The kids idolize him. The way they talk about him you’d think he was God. Truth is, I myself find myself in awe of him too. He and Rita just inspire me so much (but more on that later).

Leading up to Bobo’s visit (the kids call him Bobo), we were prepped by Rita for a whirlwind of activity. There were movies nearly every night, special treats, a trip to East London to see a movie, we went and got pizza, we took our Christmas photo (the kids rehearsed “We Wish You A Merry Christmas!” all week – pretty funny considering it was August!), and the kids could often be seen (and heard!) sitting in Bobo’s rental car honking the horn and pretending to drive. It truly was a blessed week of fun and laughter and chaos.

Having Bob here truly reminded me what beautiful things you can do with your life. It’s such a strange feeling to look around Open Arms and realize: this all started with one man’s great love. It really kind of blows your mind. A quote hangs in Rita’s office that reads: “We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love” – Bob sure has some kind of great love.

One of the best parts of Bob’s visit came in the form of a trip to Butterworth, a town in the Transkei only about an hour from Komga in the opposite direction from East London. We took our school-aged children to the garbage dump there with boxes full of lunches we’d made the night before and handed them out to the people rooting through the garbage for food. It just broke your heart to see the kind of poverty that exists in our world. People eating garbage. Children eating garbage. The whole trip made my stomach churn with guilt and my mind churn with the great injustice of it all. How do we let people eat garbage? Live in dumps? Nobody should live that way. Once again I find myself humbled by the fact that I have been so ungrateful for all that I have. I vowed then to change and I vow now to change as well, but goodness knows it will be a slow process.

The end of Bob’s visit also marked the beginning of Rita’s month-long return to the United States to spend time with her family, meaning that Pat and I have been “in charge,” if you can believe it, for the past two and a half weeks. And let me tell you…it’s been quite the experience.

It started out very difficult. The kids tested our patience and boundaries in the first few days. I came home from taking one of our children to the clinic only to find large chunks of wood missing out of one of our picnic tables. It came out (after a whole lot of fussing) that two of our boys beat the table with a metal rod (which is now locked safely away in Rita’s office…). One of these two boys then proceeded to throw a tantrum, make threats, scream, throw things, the works, ending with me watching him for about an hour while he sat in bed. Of course this was the night I choose to get ill as well – go figure! But thankfully that was by far the most trying day I’ve had here thus far. This same boy has since (knock on wood!) been an angel (for the most part).

Needless to say the last few weeks have shown me what a saint Rita is. Pat and I get up at 5:45am every morning (those of you who have lived with me know that this is a difficult feat…) in order to set things out for the day, pray, and update the mamas on anything of importance. But while it’s kind of a pain to get up in the morning it also has been one of my greatest joys to be awake to see the kids off to school. Pat and I often comment how much we feel like the parents of 38 children as we stuff tissues in their pockets, force them to eat their vitamins, toss forgotten backpacks into the car, and wave goodbye as they head down the driveway.

Other highlights of the past few weeks have included a “rain dance” competition which essentially turned into a huge clapping, singing and dancing fest. Eventually it morphed into a circle of children and mamas in which the kids all took turn showing off their moves in. (Pat and I may or may not have joined in at one point…and there may or may not be a video of my solo that I sincerely hope is never released…). Another giant dance party took place out on the porch in which Auntie Elly taught the kids the Chacha Slide, the Chicken Dance, and Cotton-Eyed Joe. Sincerely good times! We’ve also taken several trips into Komga with the kids (mostly on the weekends). The post office has become a favorite (our children call all mail “e-mail” so it’s constantly: “I want to go to the e-mail…”!), and rides in the Quantum have recently become opportune times to shout at the top of our lungs. A chorus of “boys have cooties!” from the girls and “girls have cooties!” from the boys was a personal favorite…

The kids, haven’t disappointed with the quantity and quality of their ridiculous statements as well...so I’ll share just a few of them --

While Bob was explaining the new electric fence we’ve put into the kids misheard him when he

said that the fence would be “giving you a shock” but instead heard “turning you into a shark!” (needless to say they were very confused!) I just thought it was hysterical!

Bob also showed us a number of pictures from various powerpoint presentations he’s made about Open Arms over the years and one of the pictures happened to be of Father Sorin. He asked the kids (and Pat and I) if we could tell him who that was and one of the kids shouted: “Is he a wizard?!” For the next few days he kept bringing up “the wizard” from the PowerPoint and it still cracks me up to this day!

Pat and I also made a purchase of 48 squat bottles of soda called Chubby’s (but which we refer to as Chubbas) in order for the children to make them into mini piggy banks. We gave the kids some of the orange soda ones but thought it best not to give them caffeine. Unfortunately most of them saw that we had cola-flavored ones which they refer to as “black juice.” One of our children (the one who always has something to say!) asked me over and over and over again if he could have one and I kept telling him “no, no…it has caffeine in it…trust me you don’t need any caffeine!” He would ask why and I would say “because you’d be bouncing off the walls!” He seemed to forget about the soda for a while but then later that night bounded in front of me, looked up at me with his cute little puppy dog eyes and said: “Auntie Keaton, can I please have a black juice? I promise I won’t spin around!!” I’m not sure just why this was so hilarious but it totally was!! Ah, just love these kids.

Another little boy, the little charmer as I like to call him, said he was going to stare at the TV all day (as I’d just turned it off) so I told him: “I’m going to stare at you all day because you’re just so cute!” He let out the most hilarious little giggle, scrunched up his face as if he’d smelled something smelly and said “I don’t want to be cccccccccute!!!!” I nearly died – it was too precious.

The month of September has also marked the arrival of a new child! A brand one year old (two in December!). He’s super cute and fits in perfectly with the children already! He’s attached at the hip to one of our 8 year-old girls and one of our 5 year-old boys ran up to me the night that he got here and shouted (he pretty much always shouts everything…): “The new boy! He looks just like me!!” (And he kind of does!)

I know that I frequently call things my favorite, but here’s another “favorite” to add to the list! I’ve gotten in the habit of reading a story to at least one of the houses at night and it’s amazing. Last night I had told the little boys’ house (the New House) that I would “read” them a counting book since they’ve been having trouble with their numbers at school. They went bananas (as usual) and loved the counting which was wonderful to witness, but the best part was at the end! When I’d finished reading they all dog piled on top of me and gave me kisses on the cheek until I finally was able to escape! (It took a while, let me tell you!) Mama walked in and laughed because they seriously were just piled on top of me! Then as I was leaving the tiniest little 5 year-old we had landed one on my mouth and declared: “I kissed you! We’re getting married!!”…Good way to end the night!

Ah! Pat also finally learned to drive the buckey (Rita’s truck) the other day! So as a means of celebrating, Pat, Elly, and I hopped into the truck one night and went into town to get some ice cream (mmm..so delicious!). When he was trying to reverse it out of the garage, however, a few of the kids “discovered us.” It was one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen: one of our boys’ jaws dropped to the ground. I mean he just gaped at us with mouth open for about 30 seconds. It was just like in the movies. When he finally recovered from his shock he shouted: “You’re stealing Auntie Rita’s buckey?!?!” I will forever have that image of him stuck in my mind (or at least I hope so!). He really thought we were stealing the car…

Ah, Open Arms.

Essentially, life at Open Arms is constantly an adventure. In my interview Bob asked me how I felt about monotony. Life there consists of the same thing day after day, he said. And it’s true, each day is a similar schedule. But regardless every day brings new escapades, whether it’s something funny that the kids say, some crazy misunderstanding due to the language barrier, or a wild trip into town (even trips into the library for a half an hour become somehow eventful!). And yes, I get impatient, and frustrated, especially when six kids shout at me about six different things all at the same time (like they did just this morning!) – but dancing to “I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!” when they get home from school and singing “I’m H-A-P-P-Y! I’m H-A-P-P-Y! I know I am, I’m sure I am, I’m H-A-P-P-Y!” before the day’s up, and swinging them around in circles, and baking cookies with them, and seeing their face light up when they manage a hard math problem make it worthwhile.

And I’m sorry if these blogs are getting repetitive. I know they probably are, but it’s always good to share these experiences if for no other reason that when I speak to people about my time here I am better able to process the whole experience.

So thank you for reading. Bless your hearts for staying in touch and for being a part of my life. If there’s one thing I’m learning here above all else it’s that love has power we will never fully understand. But when you give it freely, there are beautiful ramifications. And just to clear things up, I’m not referring to myself here – the kids know better than anyone how to love freely. And every time I feel down on myself about not doing enough here or not being the best that I can be, they hug me or blow me a kiss, or say “I love you” or tickle me, and they point me right back to that quote that hangs in Rita’s office:

“We cannot do great things, only small things with great love.” –Mother Theresa