Impossibly imperfect, gloriously unpredictable, and quite frankly disturbingly challenging

Wow. I have been so, so bad bad bad about posts lately!!! My sincerest apologies!!

I did, actually, start writing this entry throughout the month of September but just recently finished updating this entry according to the fairly diligent notes taken in my journals (I’ve just recently moved onto journal #3 now!). So my sincerest apologies for the lateness of this entries, but I promise that more are on their way soon…

Entry for the month of September:

Life at Open Arms is everything that I’d hoped it would be; it is impossibly imperfect, gloriously unpredictable, and quite frankly, disturbingly challenging at times.

The month of September exemplified all ranges that come with living and working here.

During the month of September, with Pat and I “in charge” (I use the term “in charge” loosely as we certainly had a lot of help), I immediately realized one thing: Rita is a saint. I mean sincerely, she is incredible. She handles all the hectic things that Open Arms throws her way with such grace, compassion, and patience. I wish, in all honesty, that I could say that I did the same while she was gone. But alas, I’d be lying. And as I have given several (thousand) lectures to children cautioning them not to lie, I feel it’s best that I follow my own advice and be honest in my blog posts as well.

The month of September brought some interesting challenges, some that I expected, and others that I did not: sickness (stress-induced I’m sure), power struggles, pride, jealousy, forgetting a few appointments here and there, dealing with the mamas, struggling to get the children to do homework every day, making a few trips into the clinic, punishing bad behavior ranging from shouting to stealing, and making a grown man cry were just a few that fell under Pat and my jurisdiction for the month.

But probably the most insidious of all challenges in the past month was the battle being waged within my own head. In all honesty, I spent a good portion of last month asking myself if I’d ever be able to give these children just what they need. A dangerous kind of self-doubt infected my routine, leaving me wondering if I’d just been masquerading as someone who knows what they’re doing. I had a miserable few days trying to sort out if I’d be remembered by the children here as “the punisher,” and if I really was just wholly missing the nature of my job here – to educate them. I went through a time when I truly thought I was a fraud for being here.

However, along with the struggles, the month of September also brought with it so many beautiful moments. For starters, on September 19^th when about half of the Green House dressed up as superheroes (complete with full spandex and blankets tied around their necks) and ran around the yard flexing their muscles, bowing, and taking pictures. (Pictures to released soon.) Another personal favorite moment from the past month came when one of our five year-olds (who just turned six on September 11^th!) asked me to read the New House a story. Of course, I obliged, and told him to go pick one out. Well, sure enough, about fives minutes later he storms back into the room and holds out the 200+ pages of “Anne of Green Gables.” Pat and I nearly died laughing. I insisted he go pick out another one but he simply declared “no! I want to read this!” (Thankfully I found a suitable alternative…). This, of course, from the same child who shouted “naughty, naughty fire pants!” to me. I stared at him, perplexed for a good 30 seconds before it dawned on me that what he was really trying to say was: “liar, liar pants on fire!” (So great, I’m definitely trying to keep his version alive.)

But while the children have kept me laughing, I’ve been trying to consciously improve myself each day. Sometimes (many times…most times…) I fail miserably. But among the things I’m trying the most to work on are patience, my Xhosa, and not letting my selfishness blind me from what love calls me to do.

My patience is coming along slowly – and often in spurts. To be honest, I get frustrated a lot. With 38 children there are constantly fights to break up, resistance to homework, talking back, temper tantrums, power struggles. I’m trying, but I find that so often I say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I pray that someday the right words will just always become immediately available. Somehow I’m not sure that day will ever come. Until that time I try to keep the mantra: “love, love, and love some more” on repeat in my mind.

Much like my patience, my Xhosa is coming along in spurts as well. In the month of September I added a few words/phrases to my repertoire including my favorite two to date: “you’re beautiful” and “I love you.” (Needless to say, these are used often…whether it’s teasing the 12 year-old boys about how “beautiful” they are, or telling the children I love them as they get ready for bed.) One of my favorite mamas (shh, don’t tell the others!) has also taken it upon herself to speak to Pat and I in Xhosa and let us guess what she’s talking about. Her most recent lesson: “Take that bowl and dish up…” (She also is one of our main cooks.) Meanwhile while I struggle to get half a sentence out in broken Xhosa (I am far beyond trying to even attempt the clicks anymore…), the girls Liane and I used to give English lessons to are flooring me with their rapid development. I was particularly touched when one of them started saying: “You is my friend” to me :). (So precious!!!)

September also brought one of my favorite recurring events at Open Arms: girls night!! As before, Elly and I stuck with the formula (why mess with a winner?) providing sweeties (I’m starting to call it candy less and less), nail polish (thank you Auntie Susan!), music, photos, and a good old-fashioned chick flick (this time Madeline!). Of course, it was a blast. The four year-old who has very recently moved up into the girls house (since the arrival of our newest one year-old!) especially made my day by taking to a dance that is very near and dear to my heart: the Cupid Shuffle! She was so outrageously precious doing it, sliding back and forth to the beat and kicking her feet out with little rhythm.

Of course, there was simultaneously a boys night going on in the main house, complete with movie (a Narnia film I believe), sweets, chips, soda, a clinic scare after one hurt themselves on a piece of metal, one child getting sick from too many chips, and an accident on the one of the sofas (we’re not sure about soda at boys/girls night anymore…). Even with those last few things they had a blast and couldn’t help rubbing in our faces how much “better” their night was. Gotta love the enthusiasm!

A few field trips occurred during the month of September as well. Our kids were out of school for a solid week due to strikes, but also had another week off in which we took the little ones to the Lion Park – which was awesome. It seriously could not have been a better place to take our children. We loaded everyone up in the car with a sandwich and juice bottle and spent the whole day wandering around what I can only describe as an outrageously sweet petting zoo. (Granted, not all the animals could be petted including lions, a tiger, giraffe, wild dogs, etc.) But the kids got to pet and feed giant tortoises, ostriches, goats, bunnies, llamas, and oh man was it fun to watch!

The next day it was the older kids’ turn to have a field trip – which we decided to fill with a trip into the movies in East London. Now to understand the anticipation for this trip you have to understand that literally since Bob had been here in the beginning of the month the children had spent every day asking if they could go see Karate Kid (yes, the one that came out ages ago in the States…we’re a little behind…). And if you think I’m exaggerating when I say every day, I’m definitely not. Unfortunately Karate Kid wasn’t deemed appropriate for children under the age of 10, so there were a few tantrums and tears, but luckily Despicable Me was also out so while I group went to the Karate Kid, I took another group to Despicable Me and totally fell in love. (If you haven’t seen that movie, stop reading this blog and go rent it. Besides, the message of that movie is so near and dear to my heart being at Open Arms: children change you.)

But while I absolutely adored the movie, exploring the mall afterwards while waiting for the other kids to get out of their movie was equally as entertaining. Of course, I was a nervous wreck walking through the mall with six children, my head was constantly on the swivel back and forth, back and forth, counting 1…2…3…4…5…oh man…phew…6! Probably my favorite part of wandering around the mall though was taking the elevator. I’m not sure whether our kids had ever been on an elevator or not, but I could you not, we went up one flight of stairs and one of our kids goes: “Can we stay on here forever?!”

Other highlights of the month of September included the children’s new obsession with Home Alone (I forgot just how delightful that movie is!!!), watching one of our girls’ netball tournament and goofing around with her friends (this was one of the events that I forgot…thankfully I was reminded by one of the mamas well before her first game began!) (ah, and for those unfamiliar with netball, it’s pretty much basketball without the dribbling), and getting ambushed by the children (several times) during various phone conversations.

Needless to say, at least one kid finds a way to melt my heart each and every day. Reading to the New House especially makes my heart grow just a little bit bigger. Books like Giraffe and a Half by Shel Silverstein, Anansi and the Magic Stick, and any and all Franklin books have become a staple part of my literary education at Open Arms, for sure. In the month of September while reading one night, I also brought my teddy bear with me. The boys loved him so much that the next night I brought my Nemo stuffed animal with me. Needless of say he took up residence there and did not return throughout the entire month of September.

Truly, being at Open Arms is a daily blessing. And while the month of September was trying, to say the least, full of frustrations big and small, the truth is, looking back, it was great. Suffice it to say every child is a blessing and every day with them is a blessing.

Remembering what I came here for

Written on October 24^th, 2010:

First of all, I realize that I haven’t written in about a month and a half (whoops!) but I promise that I’m working on it. In the meantime, I will say this – these past two months have offered a lot of time of self-reflection, often encouraged by books I’ve read, conversations with Rita and the other volunteers, e-mails and phone conversations from you back home, and tiny tidbits I’ve gathered from various other places.

Tonight, finding myself roommate-less and tired but content after a day full of pretty much non-stop reading with children of all ages, I took a moment to dig through the binder I’d brought with me from home – full of important letters and memories that I was sure I’d need at some time or other and I happened across this: a letter to myself written at the end of my freshman year that I thought I’d share.

Dear Keaton,

As your freshman year concludes at the University of Notre Dame I want you to be brutally aware of how very wonderful your life is. There have been a lot of moments over the past 9 months when you felt inadequate and unloved and not sure of yourself, but those were by and far just crazy moods. You are so lucky. Lucky to have such wonderful and caring people in your life, a marvelous education given to you purely out of love and of expectation that you will take that education and do something meaningful with it. Remember that expectation. It’s not pressure anyone’s putting on you, it’s an expression of faith your parents have given you to follow your dreams. What you ultimately determine as worthy of your dreams is up to you. But promise me that you will follow those dreams. And beyond that, promise that you will inspire others to do the same. As you grow and reflect on the life that you live I just want you to keep your eyes on the kind of person I know you want to be. You are often distracted by tiny, miniscule obstacles and simple mood swings. I’m here to tell you to overcome. Live moment to moment because to live in either the past or the future is to live outside of your control. Make every day worth living – even the not so great ones. (Especially the not so great ones.) Take a moment out of each and every day to make a memory and then record it. It will give you strength and help you to keep perspective. My final pleas to you are these: don’t let anyone (especially yourself) tell you that you are inadequate or unworthy and don’t ever forget your relationships and the people who have given your life purpose. Follow these guidelines and you will not only learn to love whatever is thrown at you, but you will brighten the lives of so many others.

--Yourself

I’m not sure if anyone wanted to read this, but it strikes me tonight, as I sit here in the darkness and solitude of the Purple House how important it is that I remember the things that I wrote that day. So much of what I said seems pertinent to my life here. The future that I referred to in that letter, the one that seemed so nebulous and in the distant future is here. And it’s time to live day-to-day in pursuit of my dreams. I’m not sure I’m doing a terribly great job of that, but I am encouraged by the idea that finding joy in small things, each day, makes a difference.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that I feel so, so blessed to have been surrounded by such wonderful people who constantly give me the encouragement I need to know that even when I feel like I’m failing, that there’s always a bright new tomorrow waiting to give me a second chance. (The children are also amazing at reminding me that though we must always make the most of now, tomorrow is always a new day.)

Alright, well I think that’s enough from me for one night. Thanks for reading, always. And thank you for believing in me – even when I’m not so sure I do. More coming soon!

--Auntie Keaton

I underdstand why people don't have 38 children (ha!)

Written on September 16th:

Every Friday and Saturday at Open Arms we have a movie night. We all bundle up into our PJs, bring our blankets, and snuggle into our cozy little TV room for a children’s movie. It is, without a doubt one of my favorite parts of the week. I always look forward to it, no matter what we’re watching, mostly because the kids will snuggle up in your lap and it’s just a peaceful time to simply enjoy their presence without the usual noise ;).

Last Friday’s movie night also brought an interesting revelation for me – we watched “Evan Almighty,” courtesy of Uncle Bobo and at one point God (Morgan Freeman) says to Evan’s wife: “When you pray for patience does God give you patience? Or does he give you opportunities to be patient?” And it really struck me how important it is for me to be aware of that notion – not only in terms of patience but with everything. Patience or love or forgiveness or anything worthwhile really isn’t just given to us…we have to work towards it. And the most that we can ask for is to be given the opportunity to become patient or loving or forgiving or whatever it is we’re looking to be.

I love Open Arms and I love the children here. I truly, truly do. There is no question about that ever, but that doesn’t mean that the children don’t ever drive me nuts. In fact, they often drive me nuts. But every day I’m learning that the appropriate answer to children banging on the Purple House door over and over and over again and shouting “Keaton! Keaton! KEAAATTTOONNN!!!” in increasing volumes when you’re just trying to escape for half an hour is to just smile and appreciate that they trust and love you enough to bother you all the time. Of course, this is not always my instant reaction…but I’m learning.

The past few weeks have certainly brought some trying moments and some wonderful moments…where to even begin?

I suppose my last entry ended just before Bob’s arrival. Now for those of you unfamiliar with Bob Solis, he is the founder of Open Arms and probably one of the most amazing people ever. The kids idolize him. The way they talk about him you’d think he was God. Truth is, I myself find myself in awe of him too. He and Rita just inspire me so much (but more on that later).

Leading up to Bobo’s visit (the kids call him Bobo), we were prepped by Rita for a whirlwind of activity. There were movies nearly every night, special treats, a trip to East London to see a movie, we went and got pizza, we took our Christmas photo (the kids rehearsed “We Wish You A Merry Christmas!” all week – pretty funny considering it was August!), and the kids could often be seen (and heard!) sitting in Bobo’s rental car honking the horn and pretending to drive. It truly was a blessed week of fun and laughter and chaos.

Having Bob here truly reminded me what beautiful things you can do with your life. It’s such a strange feeling to look around Open Arms and realize: this all started with one man’s great love. It really kind of blows your mind. A quote hangs in Rita’s office that reads: “We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love” – Bob sure has some kind of great love.

One of the best parts of Bob’s visit came in the form of a trip to Butterworth, a town in the Transkei only about an hour from Komga in the opposite direction from East London. We took our school-aged children to the garbage dump there with boxes full of lunches we’d made the night before and handed them out to the people rooting through the garbage for food. It just broke your heart to see the kind of poverty that exists in our world. People eating garbage. Children eating garbage. The whole trip made my stomach churn with guilt and my mind churn with the great injustice of it all. How do we let people eat garbage? Live in dumps? Nobody should live that way. Once again I find myself humbled by the fact that I have been so ungrateful for all that I have. I vowed then to change and I vow now to change as well, but goodness knows it will be a slow process.

The end of Bob’s visit also marked the beginning of Rita’s month-long return to the United States to spend time with her family, meaning that Pat and I have been “in charge,” if you can believe it, for the past two and a half weeks. And let me tell you…it’s been quite the experience.

It started out very difficult. The kids tested our patience and boundaries in the first few days. I came home from taking one of our children to the clinic only to find large chunks of wood missing out of one of our picnic tables. It came out (after a whole lot of fussing) that two of our boys beat the table with a metal rod (which is now locked safely away in Rita’s office…). One of these two boys then proceeded to throw a tantrum, make threats, scream, throw things, the works, ending with me watching him for about an hour while he sat in bed. Of course this was the night I choose to get ill as well – go figure! But thankfully that was by far the most trying day I’ve had here thus far. This same boy has since (knock on wood!) been an angel (for the most part).

Needless to say the last few weeks have shown me what a saint Rita is. Pat and I get up at 5:45am every morning (those of you who have lived with me know that this is a difficult feat…) in order to set things out for the day, pray, and update the mamas on anything of importance. But while it’s kind of a pain to get up in the morning it also has been one of my greatest joys to be awake to see the kids off to school. Pat and I often comment how much we feel like the parents of 38 children as we stuff tissues in their pockets, force them to eat their vitamins, toss forgotten backpacks into the car, and wave goodbye as they head down the driveway.

Other highlights of the past few weeks have included a “rain dance” competition which essentially turned into a huge clapping, singing and dancing fest. Eventually it morphed into a circle of children and mamas in which the kids all took turn showing off their moves in. (Pat and I may or may not have joined in at one point…and there may or may not be a video of my solo that I sincerely hope is never released…). Another giant dance party took place out on the porch in which Auntie Elly taught the kids the Chacha Slide, the Chicken Dance, and Cotton-Eyed Joe. Sincerely good times! We’ve also taken several trips into Komga with the kids (mostly on the weekends). The post office has become a favorite (our children call all mail “e-mail” so it’s constantly: “I want to go to the e-mail…”!), and rides in the Quantum have recently become opportune times to shout at the top of our lungs. A chorus of “boys have cooties!” from the girls and “girls have cooties!” from the boys was a personal favorite…

The kids, haven’t disappointed with the quantity and quality of their ridiculous statements as well...so I’ll share just a few of them --

While Bob was explaining the new electric fence we’ve put into the kids misheard him when he

said that the fence would be “giving you a shock” but instead heard “turning you into a shark!” (needless to say they were very confused!) I just thought it was hysterical!

Bob also showed us a number of pictures from various powerpoint presentations he’s made about Open Arms over the years and one of the pictures happened to be of Father Sorin. He asked the kids (and Pat and I) if we could tell him who that was and one of the kids shouted: “Is he a wizard?!” For the next few days he kept bringing up “the wizard” from the PowerPoint and it still cracks me up to this day!

Pat and I also made a purchase of 48 squat bottles of soda called Chubby’s (but which we refer to as Chubbas) in order for the children to make them into mini piggy banks. We gave the kids some of the orange soda ones but thought it best not to give them caffeine. Unfortunately most of them saw that we had cola-flavored ones which they refer to as “black juice.” One of our children (the one who always has something to say!) asked me over and over and over again if he could have one and I kept telling him “no, no…it has caffeine in it…trust me you don’t need any caffeine!” He would ask why and I would say “because you’d be bouncing off the walls!” He seemed to forget about the soda for a while but then later that night bounded in front of me, looked up at me with his cute little puppy dog eyes and said: “Auntie Keaton, can I please have a black juice? I promise I won’t spin around!!” I’m not sure just why this was so hilarious but it totally was!! Ah, just love these kids.

Another little boy, the little charmer as I like to call him, said he was going to stare at the TV all day (as I’d just turned it off) so I told him: “I’m going to stare at you all day because you’re just so cute!” He let out the most hilarious little giggle, scrunched up his face as if he’d smelled something smelly and said “I don’t want to be cccccccccute!!!!” I nearly died – it was too precious.

The month of September has also marked the arrival of a new child! A brand one year old (two in December!). He’s super cute and fits in perfectly with the children already! He’s attached at the hip to one of our 8 year-old girls and one of our 5 year-old boys ran up to me the night that he got here and shouted (he pretty much always shouts everything…): “The new boy! He looks just like me!!” (And he kind of does!)

I know that I frequently call things my favorite, but here’s another “favorite” to add to the list! I’ve gotten in the habit of reading a story to at least one of the houses at night and it’s amazing. Last night I had told the little boys’ house (the New House) that I would “read” them a counting book since they’ve been having trouble with their numbers at school. They went bananas (as usual) and loved the counting which was wonderful to witness, but the best part was at the end! When I’d finished reading they all dog piled on top of me and gave me kisses on the cheek until I finally was able to escape! (It took a while, let me tell you!) Mama walked in and laughed because they seriously were just piled on top of me! Then as I was leaving the tiniest little 5 year-old we had landed one on my mouth and declared: “I kissed you! We’re getting married!!”…Good way to end the night!

Ah! Pat also finally learned to drive the buckey (Rita’s truck) the other day! So as a means of celebrating, Pat, Elly, and I hopped into the truck one night and went into town to get some ice cream (mmm..so delicious!). When he was trying to reverse it out of the garage, however, a few of the kids “discovered us.” It was one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen: one of our boys’ jaws dropped to the ground. I mean he just gaped at us with mouth open for about 30 seconds. It was just like in the movies. When he finally recovered from his shock he shouted: “You’re stealing Auntie Rita’s buckey?!?!” I will forever have that image of him stuck in my mind (or at least I hope so!). He really thought we were stealing the car…

Ah, Open Arms.

Essentially, life at Open Arms is constantly an adventure. In my interview Bob asked me how I felt about monotony. Life there consists of the same thing day after day, he said. And it’s true, each day is a similar schedule. But regardless every day brings new escapades, whether it’s something funny that the kids say, some crazy misunderstanding due to the language barrier, or a wild trip into town (even trips into the library for a half an hour become somehow eventful!). And yes, I get impatient, and frustrated, especially when six kids shout at me about six different things all at the same time (like they did just this morning!) – but dancing to “I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!” when they get home from school and singing “I’m H-A-P-P-Y! I’m H-A-P-P-Y! I know I am, I’m sure I am, I’m H-A-P-P-Y!” before the day’s up, and swinging them around in circles, and baking cookies with them, and seeing their face light up when they manage a hard math problem make it worthwhile.

And I’m sorry if these blogs are getting repetitive. I know they probably are, but it’s always good to share these experiences if for no other reason that when I speak to people about my time here I am better able to process the whole experience.

So thank you for reading. Bless your hearts for staying in touch and for being a part of my life. If there’s one thing I’m learning here above all else it’s that love has power we will never fully understand. But when you give it freely, there are beautiful ramifications. And just to clear things up, I’m not referring to myself here – the kids know better than anyone how to love freely. And every time I feel down on myself about not doing enough here or not being the best that I can be, they hug me or blow me a kiss, or say “I love you” or tickle me, and they point me right back to that quote that hangs in Rita’s office:

“We cannot do great things, only small things with great love.” –Mother Theresa

This is an outrageously long post -- playing catch up

Wow, so it’s been a real long time since I’ve recorded what actually happening at Open Arms! As you can tell by my last few posts I’ve been keeping myself occupied (as usual) by musing and reflecting about life here but I’ll try to stick to reporting the more factual events this time around.

Alright, well my last post about actual events was on July 23rd…so what’s happened since then?

Well, according to my journal (thank you Notre Dame service send off!) I awoke early on July 24th to the sound of screaming children and a vuvuzela (thanks again Uncle Zach for that precious gift…it has since been destroyed and Pat and I couldn’t be happier ;). It really is funny how I’ve discovered, looking back, that it’s the little thing sin life that consume the pages of my journal. For instance on July 26th I wrote about the mini dance party that happened in the crèche before the day’s activities began. It was such a blast! We blared the High School Musical 2 soundtrack (an Open Arm’s favorite) and just…danced. Eleven, beautiful, hilarious children and I bopped around for about fifteen minutes and it was for sure one of the major highlights of my day! Similarly a few days before that my journal entry was pretty much exclusively about watching two of our boys dance during crazy hour – picture one four year-old thrusting his hips madly to the other children singing about Jesus while another just lifts his stiff leg up and down to the beat. Seriously too much!

Ah, but so much has happened since my last entry I’d better not get too caught up in individual dances and such (although goodness knows I’ll fall back into that in just a few paragraphs!).

Since my last entry so many volunteers have come and gone it’s gotten hard to keep track of who came and left when. It’s actually a pretty bizarre feeling to realize that within the span of a month and a half I’ve had to say goodbye to Zach, Caitlin, Kaitlyn, Elyssa, Erin, Liane, Susan, Mary, and (beautiful auntie) Wendy. But rest assured they have all left an indelible mark. Saying goodbye to Auntie Elyssa certainly marked the end of an era for me as well as she was the last to leave of the volunteers that were here when I arrived over two months ago. Luckily Elyssa didn’t have to leave before we could celebrate her 21st birthday with a roaring bonfire, delicious s’mores (reminded me of s’mores in Australia with Bianca!), and hilarious conversations underneath a stunning moon.

In the past two days we have also been fortunate enough to have two new volunteers: Auntie Katie from Germany and Auntie Elly from the States. (Thank you to them for giving me some roommates in the Purple House! – it was so weird to be there by myself!).

The past month or so has also included a few trips in various forms for the volunteers and I. Pat, Liane, Erin, Susan, and I made it to a South Africa must on August 2nd – a game reserve! (By the sounds of it most of you have seen the brilliant pictures via Erin’s facebook but I’ll talk a bit about it nonetheless!). The “safari” we went on was a mere 30 minutes away from Open Arms at a place called Inkenkwezi and man was it awesome! (I know I overuse the word “awesome,” but this truly was awesome!) We saw all kinds of animals including: blessed buck, wildebeests, (white) rhinos, impala, giraffes, zebras, ostriches, kudu, monkeys, elephants, lions, and cheetahs! I wrote six pages on all that we learned about these animals in my journal but maybe I shouldn’t bother you with all the details? The gist is just this: it was sweet! We were about 10 feet away at one point from one of only 60 white lion males (two others were just a few feet further). There were also about half a dozen baby lions and a female lion. It was such a bizarre feeling to be so close! We were also lucky to see the white rhinos (given their name not because of their color but actually as a mistranslation of the word “wide”) since they were the only two on the reserve! We also got to go pet the cheetahs which was crazy! They’re seriously just like giant cats -- and that may seem like a “duh” statement but you should hear them purr!!

Pat and I were also lucky enough to be invited up to Grahamstown to stay with Rosie at Rhodes University which was an absolute blast! We got to watch her hockey tournament (Tri-varsity) in Port Elizabeth (they played great!) and Pat and I got a glimpse at one of the most awesome trends – all the students have matching coveralls that they decorate for their school. It’s hilarious and there are some pretty sweet designs!! The weekend was supremely great though. It was so nice to see Rosie, meet lots of her friends, hang out, check out a South African university (it actually reminded us a lot of Notre Dame!), and really just get away from Open Arms for a bit. (As much as I love it, it was nice to have a short break!). We were supposed to leave on Sunday morning but we happened to discover that we weren’t, in fact, in America anymore and found that all the busses left at the exact same time (3 hours before we started looking for one). We spent most of that afternoon calling every bus company we could (most didn’t answer or answered once then not the other times), checking out the internet (amidst frequent power outages), and failing to be able to pay for any of them due to our lack of South African credit cards. Fortunately Rosie was nice enough to put us up for another night and it turned out to be glorious and just what we needed. (Thanks Auntie Roses!! That was a great weekend!)

Other travels included a day long “getaway” into East London with Auntie Rita where we spent the morning running errands, shopping, and seeing the movie Inception (which I thought would be a break from having to think – but it turns out you have to think even more than usual while watching that movie!). In any case, it was a tremendous day out (although we did return to a food fight later that night – Shepherd’s pie everywhere! – why you would waste that delicious meal I can’t fathom!!)

But speaking of food, in the past two (+) months I have come to greatly appreciate a few culinary (and not-so-culinary) items. Tex Bars (you were right Caitlin, they’re delicious!), Lunch Bars (I have one stashed away for an emergency now), All Sorts (black licorice flavored candy that will have to take the place of Good and Plentys for a bit!), Niki Bars (thanks Auntie Roses!), and PS Bars (yum!!). Those have most definitely taken up a good chunk of my budget lately. (I’m trying to call it quits quite unsuccessfully…). And while I will never be able to replace Memphis Meltdowns (the best ice cream ever!) Magnum Death by Chocolates and Heaven Brownie Bars do the trick just fine! Surprisingly I have also come to adore beets! They are so good and I always go for seconds when I can! I have a love-hate relationship with butternut squash (which we have all the time) but I usually force myself to eat my entire helping of it because I know it’s so good for you – it’s starting to get easier to chock it down (though not much!). Of course, nothing will ever be able to rival fat cakes in my opinion (delicious homemade fried dough filled with mince meat or honey – so good!!).

Of course, while I started writing this I also happened to be scarfing down a box of…get this…TimTams!! which Pat and I discovered at a store that sells foreign goods! (Oh how I miss Australia!)

Alright, well I actually need to stop writing about food now since I realize that all I’ve been doing is eating and there has been relatively little working out to counteract it lately (sorry dad! – I’ll work on it!!). This wasn’t always the case though. One day I even worked out three times in one day including a Pilates class that proved to me how very inflexible I am, and ab workout, and a run down to the train tracks with Elyssa and Liane (going up our beast of a hill!).

Ok, but we all know the real reason that people read this blow is to hear more about the children – so back to them! The children, as per usual, have brought out all ranges of emotions in me. They are constantly proving to me that life is full of love, laughter, disappointment, anger, happiness, sadness, and everything in between but that all that is important is that we cherish the laughter, love, and happiness the most! Among my favorite moments with the children in the past month have been a few good quotes and conversations that I’ve written in my journal, my favorite of which took place one morning in the crèche. It seriously just cracks me up! Christine, the crèche teacher I work with, and I were explaining to the children what stars are and the conversation went a little something like this:

Christine: Where do we find the stars?

Kids: Moon! The moon!

Christine: OK, yes, where are the stars and the moon?

Kids: The sun!! Sun! The sun!

Christine: Ok, the sun, the moon, and the stars are where?

Kids: Goat! Orange! Horse!!

(I kid you not, those were actual answers!) Boy oh boy do I love these kids!

Despite the ridiculous answers given by the children in this instance, I’m actually finding my work with them to be rather rewarding and I think we’re making great progress! Two weeks ago Christine had me prepare a short activity regarding the planets, sun, and moon for the afternoons which I absolutely loved! We finally put (one of) our failed piñatas to good use by using red and yellow handprints to turn it into the sun! I was so impressed by the kids’ willingness to sit still and wait for their turn to paint!! (This, if you couldn’t tell, is a pretty difficult task!)

Working with the three girls that we wanted to get into school has also been extremely rewarding. Liane, a volunteer and (former?) kindergarten/fourth grade teacher started working with the girls in the morning along with me and got two of them to memorize their alphabet perfectly! (The other is a little further behind but making tremendous progress!). We’ve also been working on the girls’ English which is getting to be much better! (One of them has been dazzling us by asking questions in full sentences! – although it should be noted that frequently one of the girls would answer “pink” as her favorite food and animal…woops! We’re working on it…). The good news is…drum roll please!...the girls had their first day of school this past Wednesday!! I couldn’t have been more prouder of them! They were thrilled when we told them (they were in the bathtub at the time so there were lots of wet high fives!). Ah, I do miss teaching them, but what a joy to see them come home from school!! It melts your heart (I know, I know, most everything here does!)

Of course, education has always been near and dear to my heart (mostly due to my parents’ incredible and unwavering dedication to Reed and my education), but I find that here it’s becoming more and more apparent how extremely important it is. Working with the girls and in the crèche has, of course, given me some insights into how important it really is, but there have also been several other events that have really brought it all into perspective.

First, a meeting at that Rita, Liane, Pat and I attended a few weeks ago at one of the schools (11 of our children attend this school). We went to this meeting prepared for a parent-teacher type meeting but instead found ourselves listening to the principal address the parents about the school’s budget – or lack thereof. The principal was literally having to pay for a few of the teachers’ salaries out of his pocket, not to mention other expenses. Ultimately he looked around at the parents gathered there (only about 40 or so for 800 children at the school!) and was asking for a way to raise money. He suggested that all parents donate R50 per child but it was clear that he wasn’t going to get all (or even most) of the parents on board for that. Just to put that into perspective, that’s roughly $7 per child. He couldn’t get $7 per child. Wow. That hit home. It just makes you so endlessly sad. Seven dollars. Just let that sink in for a second. As if that weren’t uncomfortable enough to here, it did, in fact, get a little more uncomfortable for us when he looked right at us and suggested we get help from “overseas.” (We’re not really sure he understands that as a privately-funded home we work hard to fundraise just to raise our children,. However, the lovely and talented Liane was able to raise some funds from home to donate to the school as well as Open Arms, so that was wonderful!)

Ah yes, and I can’t go without mentioning the opening to the meeting. The principal opened with, I kid you not: “If you’re wondering who these white folk are they’re from Open Arms…we only have black children at our school.” We’re still not exactly sure why he felt the need to say that to us but oh well…

That meeting was incredibly eye-opening for me, without a doubt, but what’s even sadder is what has been going on the past few weeks: major strikes. Now I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know much about strikes in the States – but this one going is ridiculous. It’s anyone’s best guess as to whether or not our kids will be sent home from school because no teachers are there. (Now, granted, there’s always a chance their won’t be teachers there even when the teachers aren’t striking…don’t get me started…but still!). Our children at the school I mentioned before have been home for a week straight now. But what’s worse than them being sent home is that around the Eastern Cape these people on strike are literally threatening to burn down schools, preventing students from going in, even stealing busses and throwing rocks at their windows. I mean seriously! It makes you sick – here are teachers, the people who are supposed to take care and educate our children and this is how they’re behaving!! Are our children supposed to destroy busses when they don’t get their way?! I hope not! They’re even preventing teachers from going into school that want to be there! Ok, now that said, I understand that they want higher wages, that lots of people need to make ends meet, but just the way they’re going about it…And of course Americans do things like this all the time, it’s just that I’ve never seen it so first hand before. Sorry, of course it’s only a select few that are doing the terrorizing so there’s no need to be upset with everyone but I think you get the gist.

Fortunately I got to see another side of education in South Africa (and in Komga in particular) by going to school with one of our girls who tested into a more elite school this year. Her teacher is a good friend of Rita’s and Open Arms and was so incredibly welcoming, helpful, and kind to me! The school was incredible! Just a beautiful little campus with great opportunities (especially for sport!), a wonderful principal, and great teachers. I had a blast helping the teacher grade papers, listen to her lecture, talk with the principal, and get into a lovely discussion about the distinctions between the South African and American educational systems. I seriously want all our children to go to this school, but unfortunately they have to cap their enrollment at 30 students per class because while they are a “semi-public” school they only receive funding for the teachers’ salaries and nothing else. Meaning students must apply to get in and have to pay tuition as well.

Rest assured, I am now more thankful than ever to have been given such a glorious and in-depth education with so many qualified, dedicated, and compassionate teachers and professors. (Thanks mom and dad, first and foremost for that!)

Other news from this past month? There’s so much….some funny things:
Women’s Day – the kids got the day off from school but as far as I can tell there is absolutely no known celebration for this holiday. Funny note on women as well, one day we heard a song on the radio that went a little something like this: “As a woman I’ve been told my place is in the kitchen…as a woman I work hard for the man to get the glory…” (We kept expecting her to continue onto something like “I won’t do it!” but nope…).

Having been in south African for over two months now I am also starting to realize that some things are just different here. For one, they operate on much different business practices and schedules. One day, I kid you not, we went to the post office during their regular hours and it was just closed. No explanation. Ok, fine, so we then proceeded to the library where a sign was hung: “Sorry, we will be closed on (the day’s date).” No explanation either. Then we drove up to the jail to let the kids see. Gate closed. Seriously people! Haha, oh dear. I suppose we all need a little time off, eh?

Of course, all that said I do love South Africa very much. The people that I have encountered and spent time with here are tremendously kind and welcoming! I am constantly astounded by the generosity of complete strangers who help at the home, offer to spend time with Pat and I should we ever need a break, or just smile and give you a hug.

Another thing I love about South Africa, and particularly the Eastern Cape is the Xhosa language. Goodness knows I will never be able to speak it, but I’m trying to pick up a few phrases each week to add to my repertoire. So far I can mispronounce the following: sit down, be quiet, listen, I’m cold, I’m hot, where’s (insert name)?, I’m hungry, look over there, I’m going to hit, hello, how are you, good, and thank you! The kids always make fun of use when we speak because we can’t click properly…one day I’ll get it! One of my favorite mamas (shh, don’t tell the others!), also recently attempted to teach me to make dough so that was great! She also taught me how to pour our milk without spilling (every time I would pour the milk out it would slosh all over the place but I haven’t spilled since she taught me!! So exciting!)

In other news, I fear that I’m going to be exposed to thousands upon thousands of hours of Dave Matthew music – it’s all Pat listens to, bless his heart! It got to the point where, when asked what kind of music we wanted to listen to, Liane and I simply responded in unison: “Anything but Dave.” – (If Pat ever read this though, I will admit it is growing on me.) Poor Uncle Pat, he’s had to spend much too much time with me!

Sorry, I know this is extremely length – my sincerest apologies, but I just want to paint a picture of what it’s like here on a daily basis: which is always an adventure, even when it seems like we do the same things again and again.

One of my favorite events of the past two months came in the form of a baby goat. The kids found the tiniest little baby goat you’ve ever seen wandering around the yard, abandoned by it’s mother. Pat was then put in charge of finding it’s family but none such luck. It was so heartbreaking to listen to it bleat for it’s mother. It would scream so loudly it’s voice would crack every time and it sounded just like a child screaming. Pat and I (along with the children) wanted desperately to keep him, but for obvious reasons we couldn’t. We eventually called our dear neighbor who, bless his heart, is always helping us out with things big and small and told him “Uh, we have a little dilemma.” Needless to say the name stuck, so now we refer to the little guy as “Dilemma.” Little Dilemma currently is still residing up at our neighbor’s house, so hopefully we can go visit him every now and again!

Some other funny things: the kids referred to me one night as “that chubby girl from High School movie.” Needless to say my self-confidence is in need of bulking up since the kids here have no filter for comments like “hey, what’s that one your face?,” “you smell bad!!,” or “your legs are hairy!” (among other things of the like). Another child, the one that is constantly dancing (so cute!) wore snap together jeans the other day that I swear I found unsnapped no less than five times that day – which doesn’t sound that funny except when they were unsnapped they looked like a long jean skirt. Such a funny sight! Of course there are always “poofy” (their word for poop) incidents here are Open Arms. One day one of our younger children, in protest of being punished, poofied on the floor only to have one of our babies put both hands in it and smear it on herself. (Thankfully I wasn’t a witness to this and only heard stories later!). One of our chattiest children, brother to one of our least chatty children, also was talking non-stop one night so I asked him how he was related to his sister; without missing a beat he answered “My sister says I should talk as much as possible and as loud as possible!” and then he just smiled and kept going. Ah, love him! I also just love joking around with the kids. One Saturday, after being told sixteen thousand times “I want to go to playroom!” I asked one of our children what day it was (his day is Monday). He, of course, responded: “Monday!” so I put on a shocked face and said “Oh no!! It’s Monday!! What are you children doing at home?!” We then proceeded to run around Open Arms telling Mamas, children, and volunteers that we’d forgotten to take everyone to school as it was Monday. He giggled the whole time and it absolutely reminded me why I love kids. One of the things I also love the most about Open Arms is sitting at the volunteer table and hearing one of our two year-olds singing faintly to herself in the other room “everywhere we go-oh!…everywhere we go-oh!…everywhere we go-oh!” over and over again.

Alright, well there are many more stories, little and big, that I can share with you but I realize that I am going on page 6 of my word document so I think I’d better start wrapping it up – my sincerest apologies! For those of you that have made it this far…thank you! And I’ll try not to do it again!

Thanks for reading! It took me so long to get through this post that I won’t even get into Bob’s visit, Rita going home (and all the adventures that has brought), and some gnawing questions about my time here. More soon. I will try to update every week or so with short posts, but feel free to e-mail me at any time as well. And please, please, please sent me updated about you!! I want to hear everything that’s been going on!! My life is often consumed by the going-ons at Open Arms and it’s such a delight and pleasure to hear what you all have been up to!!!